Have you or your son/daughter had an experience where you auditioned for a part or applied for a job or tried out for a team or a position and did not make it?
You performed and you felt you did well. In fact, you “nailed it” and yet unsuccessfully. You got cut. You did not pass the audition. You failed the test. Etc., etc., etc. Ugh!!! So you sit back, gather yourself, catch your breath, work to analyze what occurred and how you can fix it.
All good. Now comes the hard part; to go back out and try again.
For that you need faith and belief in yourself and believing in yourself can be very very difficult.
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No matter how hard you try to “be positive”, the subconscious mind is actually HARD WIRED TO BE NEGATIVE.
This is not a bad thing. Other animals (yes, we human beings are still animals) all have the same “wiring”. It is the emotional mechanism that protects us from danger.
It is the “sensory device” in our subconscious mind which protected us in primitive times from the tigers and bears and it is ALWAYS actually looking out … even SEEKING OUT … negativity and real (or imagined) dangers.
What this all means when we are preparing to perform; especially in front of people who carry some “consequence” attached to thm; such as parents and coaches and friends with expectations, college and pro scouts, etc. is that we tend to be negative in front of a group of OTHER PEOPLE who are ALSO programmed the same way. These people; the parents, coaches, friends, scouts, etc. are also hard wired to be negative; programmed to say “no” or “not” in their appraisal of our performance and skill.
This is why, for example, the youngster who went three for four in his baseball game gets criticized on the way home by his dad for the ground ball he did not beat out. The youngster who scored two goals in her soccer game is taken to task for missing on a third attempt.
As you may imagine, this emotion; this “negative lens” through which people look is MULTIPLIED the higher a player/performer ascends in his/her sport or performance arena. A scout for a major professional sport may, in fact, even feel that his own job is at risk should he make a wrong recommendation on a player.
It is easier to just say “no” than to risk saying “yes” and making a mistake.
How then does a player or a performer stand in that “performance environment”; the ball field, the stage, up at the podium, in class, in a business meeting and … deliver the performance that he/she is capable of?
How do they do that at the peak of their potential. How do they perform at the peak of their potential CONSISTENTLY.
It all goes to your “belief” system. What do you CHOOSE to believe? Somebody else’s perception of you or your own CONVICTION in who you are and what you are capable of?
And it IS a choice.
My friend Luis Lopez had an outstanding college career but went undrafted and STILL made it to the big leagues.
Listen to his story .. and my comment.